Wondermark’s Awesome Story Generator

As you may have noticed on my “Other Stuff” page, I’m a big fan of Dave Malki’s webcomic Wondermark, and I encourage you all to read it. Today’s comic is, in lieu of a story, a full story generator that gives you a simple structure and prompts you to fill in the blanks with several awesome little genre fiction elements. All you need now is a random number generator, and viola! A perfect story every time. Observe:

The Psychomancers
In a leather-clad America, a young, idealistic revolutionary stumbles across an alien artifact which spurs him into conflict with humanity’s selfish nature, with the help of a shape-shifting female assassin and her wacky pet, culminating in a philosophical argument punctuated by violence.

the Aerotrons
In a coal-powered medieval Europe, a young flying message courier stumbles across a talking fish, which spurs him into conflict with his own insecurity vis-avis girls, with the help of a female who inexplicably becomes attracted to the damaged protagonist for unstated reasons (and her closet full of assault rifles), culminating in eternal love professed without irony.

The Chronophages
In a metaphorical terraformed Mars, a young journeyman inventor stumbles across a dusty tome which spurs him into contact with supernatural monsters, with the help of a girl who’s always loved him (and her cleavage), culminating in the invocation of a spell at the last possible moment.

As you can see, these are not only awesome, they are completely viable in today’s market. The first one up there is actually a pretty accurate description of The Matrix, if you count virtual reality as an alien artifact, and Morpheus as Trinity’s wacky pet.

7 Responses to “Wondermark’s Awesome Story Generator”

  1. Arlene says:

    I can’t tell if you’re joking or not. Sad.

  2. Callisto says:

    One person’s sad is another person’s hilarious. Rock on, Dan.

  3. admin says:

    And, as if by magic, an automated version has been created: http://fictiongen.boxofjunk.ws/

  4. Kimberl says:

    Malki is a genius. My friend Luisa introduced his strip to me last year and I’m an ardent fan now. The story generator is a new delight to explore though – many thanks.

  5. WEKM says:

    This needs to be the writing prompt in a future podcast.

    “This weeks writing prompt, go to http://fictiongen.boxofjunk.ws/ and write the story the Genre Fiction Generator summarizes for you.” Oh the horrors…

  6. WEKM says:

    Ok, the creepy thing, having played with the automated one for a bit, I went over and looked at the comic and flow charted a summary. Then, I went back to the auto gen and “inserted another thrupenny bit” and the summary it generated was nearly exact to the manual one I had just made other than the title being off by one half word, (down one from the one I had picked) and the “and her” being up one from the one I had picked.
    Either it is reading my mind, (I do have mild dyslexia, which would explain the errors) or Dan had possessed my computer and is striving to make me mad, MAD I TELL YOU!

    I am leaning towards the second as I have had those suspicions for a while now.

    I’m on to you Dan! I see you hiding behind my screen saver there. You’re not fooling me!

  7. Fleetwood Robbins says:

    Mr. Wells,

    I am an editor at Wizards of the Coast. I have seen posts in the past in which you discuss playing Magic. I would like to explore the possibility of you writing novels for based on the game.

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