Entitled: The Disney Princess One-Word Title Game

A few days ago I mentioned on Twitter/Facebook my dislike of the new Disney movie naming pattern: instead of just giving the movie the same name as the fairy tale it’s based on (ie, “Snow White,” “Cinderella,” “Beauty and the Beast,” etc.), they’ve started using one-word titles like Brave, Tangled, and Frozen. Brave is an odd case because Brave was a) not based on an existing story and b) a really stupid title. The character was, indeed, brave, but that’s not what the story nor her character arc were about: she was just as brave in the beginning as she was in the end, so calling the movie “Brave” is about as descriptive as calling it, say, “Celtic,” or “Redhead,” or even just “Girl.” Tangled and Frozen upped the game by using their title to underline–in a cutesy way, of course–the exact emotional obstacle the main character needs to overcome. Rapunzel has severe mommy issues and feels tied down to her old life? Combine that with the hair motif and call it Tangled. The Ice Queen is emotionally stunted and needs to learn how to break free? Combine it with the snow motif and call it Frozen. So yes, they’re more clever than Brave, but they’re way too on-the-nose. You can’t just call out the exact theme of your story, reduce it to a past participle, and call it a title.

Or can you?

As a matter of fact, that is EXACTLY what we’re going to do! I joked online about retitling “The Little Mermaid” in the same style, and was flooded with delightful suggestions, including everything from Beached to Silenced, with plenty of awesome non-past-participle answers thrown into the mix (I suggested Speechless, and my brother-in-law made me laugh out loud with “Shellfishness”). So, that’s what we’re going to do: retitle all the Disney princess movies with one-word titles that wear the character’s main arc, or the movie’s main theme, as clumsily on their sleeve as possible. For the purposes of this exercise we are looking ONLY at Princess movies, so no Aristocats or whatever, and we are imagining a world in which each princess is actually the main character of her movie (in other words, your title for Aladdin will be about Jasmine, because if they made that movie today that’s exactly how they’d do it). You get points for describing the character, extra points for describing the character’s arc, more extra points for incorporating the movie’s visual theme, and even more extra points for making me laugh. Past participles are preferred (mostly that means ‘words that end in -ed,’ but there are exceptions), but don’t let that stop you from laying down a gem like Shellfishness. You can rename one or all, and enter as many times as you like, and–why not?–I’ll pick a winner and give them something awesome. Probably a book, or maybe a T-shirt, or maybe I’ll name a corpse after you in the new John Cleaver. MAYBE ALL OF THE ABOVE. The winner, by the way, will be chosen by me, based on whatever criteria I so desire. I can do whatever I want, because the title of my own personal movie is “Empowered.”

Without further ado, here’s the list of movies:

The Core Set:

Snow White
Sleeping Beauty
The Little Mermaid
Beauty and the Beast
The Princess and the Frog
Brave (because seriously, it needs a new name)

Princesses Disney tries to forget about because their movies are dumb:

Eilonwy (The Black Cauldron)
Kida (Atlantis: The Lost Empire)

The BEST Disney Princess, who is totally a princess, even in-world, but who doesn’t get included in their marketing because even their marketers know she would never be caught dead in a lame-o Disney Princess product:

Megara (Hercules) (I kind of have a thing for Megara)

Other movies it might be fun to rename in this style, even though they’re not about princesses:

Alice in Wonderland
Peter Pan
One Hundred and One Dalmatians
The Sword in the Stone
The Jungle Book
Robin Hood
The Brave Little Toaster
The Nightmare Before Christmas
The Lion King
The Hunchback of Notre Dame

And why not? Disney owns this now too:

Princess Leia (Can you even imagine the Star Wars trilogy remade as a Disney Princess franchise? That sounds so terrible that I CAN’T HELP MYSELF I WANT IT RIGHT NOW.)

50 Responses to “Entitled: The Disney Princess One-Word Title Game”

  1. Kevin says:

    Beauty and the Beast: Captivated

  2. Kevin says:

    Sorry, I’m just plugging these in as I think of them….

    Mulan: Bound

  3. Jessica says:

    Sleeping Beauty = Knackered

  4. Alan says:

    Well, in the case of Brave, I would just retitle it as This Movie was a Victim of Multiple Rewrites and Last-Minute Changes. Honestly, I think Sarah McLaughlin (McLaughlan?) should do an ASPCA-style Public Service Announcement warning about the cruelty of multiple unnecessary rewrites in Hollywood, and fill it with a bunch of big-eyed dogs looking sad.

  5. Audrey says:

    Snow White :Fairest, Jealousy
    Cinderella :Charmed
    Beauty and the Beast: Dangerous, Beauty, Beastly
    Pocahontas: Savage
    Mulan: Honor
    Pinocchio: Wishes, Lies
    Bambi: Innocence
    Alice in Wonderland: Wonder
    Peter Pan: Neverland
    One Hundred and One Dalmatians: Spotted
    The Nightmare Before Christmas:Halloween, Nightmare
    The Lion King:Scarred, Kings
    The Hunchback of Notre Dame: Monster

  6. Skott says:

    Snow White- Dwarfed
    Cinderella – Slipper-y
    Sleeping Beauty – Awake
    The Little Mermaid
    Beauty and the Beast – Beastlier
    Aladdin – Wishful
    The Princess and the Frog
    Brave – Mombearable

    Haven’t seen the others.

  7. Eliza says:

    Snow Whie-Dwarfed.
    Alice in Wonderland-Decapitated.
    I like this game.

  8. Alan says:

    My other retitles are as follows:

    Snow White: Poisoned.
    Cinderella: The Cleaning Lady gets Married.
    Sleeping Beauty: Pricked.
    The Little Mermaid: Legs. or, alternately, “Seashell Bra, the Musical”.
    Beauty and the Beast: Bewitched.
    Aladdin: Airborne.
    Pocahontas: Embellished.
    The Princess and the Frog: Transmogrified.

    And I already covered Brave.

  9. Audrey says:

    Lilo and Stitch: Ohana
    Beauty and the Beast: Enchanted
    The Little Mermaid: Legs

  10. Nate says:

    Sorry, I can’t stick to the one-word rule. Not when this post inspires so many deliciously satirical ideas!

    Beauty and the Beast –> Stockholm Syndrome
    The Princess and the Frog –> Now Black Girls Can Buy Disney Princess Merch Too!
    Cinderella –> Child Abuse
    Sleeping Beauty –> Child Abandonment
    Snow White –> Child Abuse 2
    Bambi – The Lion King: The Prequel
    101 Dalmations –> Birth Control
    The Black Caldron –> Why Books are Better than Movies
    Pocahontas –> Why Native Americans Loved Getting Colonized
    Pinocchio –> Lie to Me
    The Jungle Book –> The Jungle Book
    Robin Hood –> The Jungle Book: Clothes Edition (!!!)

    My one-word titles:
    Mulan –> Mushu
    Brave –> Conditioner
    Snow White –> Polyandry
    The Brave Little Toaster –> Recycled
    The Hunchback of Notre Dame –> Fugly

  11. Sara says:

    Snow White – Hunted
    Cinderella – Disguised
    Sleeping Beauty – Curious
    The Little Mermaid – Altered
    Beauty and the Beast – Stockholm
    Mulan – Constrained

  12. Brave: “Dumb”

  13. Elisheva says:

    Aladdin – sheltered
    Snow White – bewitched
    Cinderella – farriered
    Sleeping beauty – pricked
    Little mermaid – envied
    Beauty and the beast – unprovincialed
    Pocahontas – ravaged
    Mulan – defenestrated (threw all conventions out the window)
    Hercules – trusted
    Lion King – prided
    Hunchback – tempted
    Tarzan – primed

  14. klmercer says:

    Sleeping Beauty: Spindle
    Princess and the Frog: Metamorphosis
    Mulan: Uniformed
    Little Mermaid: Hooked
    Snow White: Objectified
    Megara: Undertaken

  15. Randy says:

    Snow White : BEWITCHED
    Sleeping Beauty : BEWITCHED
    The Little Mermaid : BEWITCHED
    Beauty and the Beast : BEWITCHED
    Brave : BEWITCHED

  16. admin says:

    “Hooked” for The Little Mermaid is so perfect Disney wishes they’d thought of it first. And “Colonized” for Pocahontas makes me laugh.

    Brilliant! Keep them coming!

  17. Matthew Kunes says:

    Atlantis: “Found”

    I’ll come up with more as I think of them.

  18. Nate says:

    Hahaha, I love KLMercer’s new title for The Princess and the Frog. Very Kafkaesque. ;)

  19. Klimpaloon says:

    Lady and the Tramp–Dogged
    Alice in Wonderland–Sized

  20. Krista says:

    Okay, I’ll try.

    Alice in Wonderland: Tripped
    Snow White: Bewildered
    Cinderella: Bling
    Sleeping Beauty: Lethargic OR Nap Marks
    The Little Mermaid: Dried Up
    Beauty and the Beast: Shaggy (not Shagged)
    Aladdin: Wished
    Pocahontas: Boom-Chicka-Pow-Pow
    Mulan: Forbidden
    Brave (because seriously, it needs a new name): Wisped

  21. Lori Parker says:

    I’m not as good with the “past” part, but I came up with a “handful” of titles. Snow White = Apple. Cinderella = Daydreamer. Sleeping Beauty = Thorns. The Little Mermaid = Tail (also play on “tale”). Beauty and the Beast = Rose. Aladdin = Zara (Princess in Arabic). Pocahontas = Red (skin, blood, and romance). Mulan = Crossdresser (LOL). The Princess and the Frog = Kissed. Atlantis = Doomed. Bambi = Innocence. Dumbo = Clown. The Hunchback of Notre Dame = Gypsy. The Brave Little Toaster = Unplugged. Lion King = Pride. Star Wars = Twin. Robin Hood = Prize. The Jungle Book = Hunted. Tarzan = Wild. The Wizard of Oz = Home. Top Amazon Reviewer at = bookwormpov (at) gmail (dot) com

  22. Stan Johnson says:

    I read the post, but not the replies. Here’s to any inadvertent duplication I may run into. To those of you who copied me in advance, I salute your great mind.

    Snow White: Clueless. Oh, wait–that’s taken.
    Cinderella: Bescrubbed.
    Sleeping Beauty: Tempting.
    The Little Mermaid: Hormonal.
    Beauty and the Beast: Misunderstood.
    Aladdin: Loteria!
    Pocahontas: Unreserved.
    Mulan: Kungfusion.
    The Princess and the Frog: Pre-Katrina (That’s technically one word)
    Brave: Och!

  23. Frank says:

    Beauty and the Beast – Dogged
    Pinocchio – Swallowed
    Little Mermaid – Vocalized
    Aladdin – Dieted
    Mulan – Manned
    Lion King – Shakespeared

    First pass…I’m sure I’ll come up with more later.

  24. Nate says:

    Dumbo —> Let Whiskey Solve Your Problems

  25. Nate says:

    Alice In Wonderland –> Shrooms (or Shroomed)

  26. HamletMonkey83262 says:

    Snow White: Dwarfed, Uninvited
    Cinderella: Foot-manned?(Terrible, I know)
    Sleeping Beauty: Untended, Fallen
    Little Mermaid: Surfaced
    Beauty and the Beast: Furnished
    Aladdin: Carpeted, Uncorked
    Pocahontas: Disneyized
    Mulan: Unbowed
    The Princess and the Frog: Swamped
    Brave: Bear-dened, Un-bear-ied, Understood

  27. corlien says:

    Let’s try .. :)

    Cinderella : lost & found
    Sleeping beauty : the awakening
    Brave : wispful thinking
    Beauty and the beast : furryious
    Mulan : warrion
    Lion King : pride rocks
    Pocahontas : Huntsgirl
    Alice in wonderland : unREAL
    Aladdin : genieous

    *spelling “mistakes” are meant to be “mistakes” ;)

  28. Timothy Cramer says:

    If you don’t mind some gratuitous German:

    Snow White: Vergiftet!

    That means Poisoned, which would also be a viable, if not remarkable, title. But I’d prefer the German title, and the female villain modelled after some blonde and buxom German celebrity (there are quite a few).

    Sleeping Beauty: Needled

    WRT to The Little Mermaid Legs I’d rather suggest Dislegged. (I would not particularly like Dislegsic. But maybe Fishlegged?)

    The Start Wars Trilogy: Hold, Hunted, Heeded (or Harkened)!

    They should definitely remake “The Silence Of The Lamps” as a Disney Princess Movie: Lectured. (Or Lectored?) Just image the “It was so heavy” line! (FYI, she’s talking about the sheep she tried to save.) Also: “Who decapitated your patient?”

    Hmmm, that probably means we also need a Disney Princess Movie: Decapitated? Alternatively: Beheaded?

    I think you would be suitably qualified to write the script. And the historical context could be Henry VIII and two of his six wifes.

    On a totally different subject: Did you just let it slip that there will be a fourth John Cleaver book? How else could you name a corpse?

  29. Lets change Brave to Bared, since what she was really fighting against was the constriction against being who she was and her mother learning that perfect did not mean “just like me”. Also, bears…

    Pocahontos would have to be Painted, since racial discrimination from both sides was really the main issue there (and ties into the theme song of Colours of the Wind), though if we’re dealing with her arc specifically, she could take the Brave title. She had to decide what was important to her and to stop running from her future and responsibilities. She had to choose a path, even if that meant that she had to be brave enough to make her own.

  30. Riktol says:

    “Snow White” should be “Friend-Zoned”.
    And you could definitely remake “Hercules” and make Megara the mc. Told from her perspecitve all these guys keep bursting into her life and making trouble for her. Can’t think of a snappy title though.

  31. rholdeniii says:

    One word takes more creativity than I have.

    Little Mermaid: Silence of the Gams

  32. Kevin says:

    A complete ballot, with occasional explanations:

    Snow White: Found
    Cinderella: Gilded
    Sleeping Beauty: Cursed
    The Little Mermaid: Split
    Beauty and the Beast: Captivated (Stockholm Syndrome reference)
    Aladdin: Flown (on the carpet, from the palace)
    Mulan: Bound (to tradition, breasts)
    The Princess and the Frog: Served
    Brave: Refined (her mother’s desire for her, what happens to her personality)

    Pinocchio: Unstrung
    Dumbo: Paraded (for mockery, then for celebration)
    Bambi: Wounded
    Alice in Wonderland: Stretched (physically and mentally)
    Peter Pan: Panned? No….. Lost
    One Hundred and One Dalmatians: Bedeviled
    The Sword in the Stone: Unsheathed
    The Jungle Book: Tamed
    Robin Hood: Outfoxed
    The Brave Little Toaster: Toasted
    The Nightmare Before Christmas: Spooked
    The Lion King: Succeeded (as king, overcoming guilt)
    The Hunchback of Notre Dame: Quickened (the gargoyles brought to life, Quasimodo introduced to life)
    Tarzan: Uncivilized
    The Black Cauldron: Unpolished (Eilonwy still has to learn tact, other aspects of her role)
    Hercules: Jaded
    Atlantis: Enlightened (the metamorphosis at the end)
    Princess Leia: Bunned

  33. Nate says:

    Riktol wins with “Friend-zoned”

  34. Mike says:

    Aladdin/Jasmine – Stolen
    Pocahontas – Discovered
    Atlantis/Kira – Forgotten
    Mulan – Dishonored

  35. Joe Vasicek says:

    Star Wars retold around Princess Leia: Forced

  36. T.J. Bronley says:

    Snow White: Entrusted

    Sleeping Beauty: Rested

    Beauty and the Beast: Read (sounds like red). “Deprived” would be another option.

  37. klmercer says:

    Cinderella: Swept
    Brave: Loosed
    Beauty & the Beast: Flowered
    Jasmine: Beggared (The long version: The Princess and the Pauper)

  38. Elisabeth says:

    Brave: Soulless (Because she’s ginger)

    Pocahontas: Feral

    Aladin: Defy (goes against father’s will to be free)

    Sleeping Beauty: Narcoleptic

    Mulan: Honored

    Princess and the Frog:

    Little Mermaid: Finned

    Cinderella: Dared (she dared to go against the family that oppressed her and have her own chance in the spotlight)

    Snow White: Reflected (mirrors and beauty are in the eye of the beholder)

    Beauty and the Beast: Beguiled

  39. Brett Peterson says:

    Cinderella: Unslippered.
    Kida/Atlantis: Buried.
    Megara: Leveraged.
    Tarzan/Jane: Flung!

  40. Jeanna says:

    The night I read this blog post, I dreamed I came up with a really brilliant array of ideas for all these princesses. I was so convinced that when I woke up in the morning, I tried to remember them. It turns out the only one I could remember was not actually a Disney princess, nor was it awesome in the light of day (it was “Humbled” for “Pride and Prejudice,” and everything else rhymed with that). I am sorry to say that I am more brilliant when asleep than when awake.

  41. Bob says:

    Snow White – Fairest
    Cinderella – Magical Makeover, Princess Edition.
    Sleeping Beauty – Comatose
    The Little Mermaid – De-scaled, or Flippery When Wet.
    Beauty and the Beast – Beastiality
    Aladdin – Wishful Thinking
    Pocahontas – History of the World, Part 2.
    Mulan – Gender Bender, or Woah Man. also Man-ners
    The Princess and the Frog – Hocus-Croakus
    Brave – Bearly

  42. Heather says:

    Snow White – Blanched
    Cinderella – Shoeless
    Sleeping Beauty – Sleepyhead
    The Little Mermaid – Beached
    Beauty and the Beast – Hunted
    Aladdin – Phonies
    Princess and the Frog- Jazzed
    Mulan – CovOp
    Brave – Straight Shooter (with arrows and her words)
    Pocahontas – Winded

  43. I only retitled the ones I’ve seen.

    SWATHed (Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs)
    Stepped (Cinderella)
    Beneficent (Beauty and the Beast)
    Bradburied at Sea (The Little Mermaid)
    The West Wing (Beauty and the Beast)
    Deuteragonized (Aladdin)

    Thanks to Dan for letting me know I’m not alone in preferring Megara above all other Disney Princesses.

  44. Oops. Beneficent should be Sleeping Beauty.

  45. Sam Sulat says:

    I realize I’m well past fashionably late to the party…but it looked like a fun game to try.

    Cinderella – “Dressed” or “Fits”, maybe? (If I was going the longer than one word route, maybe “She cleans up nice” or “Swept off her foot”)

    Megara – God-spell
    Mulan – Manned, Replace-man
    Brave – S’mothered
    Beauty and the Beast – Beholden (this one’s probably my favorite)

    And just for fun… Princess Leia – “Enforced”.

  46. Beth says:

    The Princess and the Frog – Soggy
    Alice in Wonderland – Fallen

  47. Peggy :) says:

    Brave – Brazen :)

    I really like that one, but it IS very similar to Frozen. Therefore I also offer “Reckless” as another option.

  48. Matt says:

    Snow White – Dwarfed
    Cinderella – Slipper
    Sleeping Beauty – Slumbered
    The Little Mermaid – Soaked
    Beauty and the Beast – Miss-understood
    Aladdin – Nanu-nanued
    Pocahontas – Genocide
    Mulan – Transgendered
    The Princess and the Frog – Croaked
    Brave (because seriously, it needs a new name) – Mauld
    Eilonwy – Flopped
    Kida – Drowned
    Pinocchio – Unstrung
    Dumbo – Believed
    Bambi – Hunted
    Alice in Wonderland – Confused
    Peter Pan – Kidnapped
    One Hundred and One Dalmatians – Spotted
    The Sword in the Stone – Stoned
    The Jungle Book – Kiplinged
    Robin Hood – Robbed
    The Brave Little Toaster – Unwanted
    The Nightmare Before Christmas – Stitches
    The Lion King – Roar
    The Hunchback of Notre Dame – Humped
    Tarzan – Switched
    Megara- Independent
    Princess Leia – Cinnaboned

  49. Cole says:

    Megara/Hercules -> Divided by Zero (Or simply Divided)
    Alice in Wonderland -> Lost
    Mulan -> Tempered

  50. admin says:

    I promised a winner, and I have chosen one: klmercer, for calling Little Mermaid “Hooked.” It made me laugh, but it was also a perfect example of the titling style I talk about in the post: it’s a dead-on description of the emotional problem Ariel faces in the book, it’s a sly reference to the setting, and it would feel absolutely at home on the shelf next to Tangled and Frozen. Perfectly done.

    When I contacted klmercer, she turned out to be Kristen Mercer, who attended our first Writing Excuses retreat last year! Congratulations, Kristen, you shall perish in agony in the new John Cleaver book.

Leave a Reply