The Consistency of Soft Dough

Today I rode my bike to the office, as step one in my long-term plan to save money and not die of a heart attack. It turns out, and this may come as a shock to those of you as sedentary as I am, that physical exertion is pretty hard. Especially when you have the physical fitness of pudding.

14 Responses to “The Consistency of Soft Dough”

  1. Arlene says:

    You need a WOW. That is…a Workout of the Week. Read excerpt below by my good friend, Lizz Bennett and personal trainer extrordinaire:

    Here is this weeks WOW. Please do it 3 times.
    For time:
    25 push-ups
    25 sit-ups
    25 rows with high resistance band
    25 overhead press with 15lb f/ 20 lbs m
    25 biceps curls
    25 triceps dips on chair
    25 alternating step back lunges
    25 ‘ribbit’ squats (that means when you go down on your squat you touch both palms to the floor- you look like a frog0
    Repeat 3 times

    Welcome to the world of stay-at-home moms trying to NOT turn into pudding.

  2. Callisto says:

    I feel for you, Dan. I really do.

  3. Raethe says:

    I know exactly what you mean.

    My reward for myself after I finish my first draft is going to be a trip to the gym.

  4. Titus says:

    If you really are in as bad a shape as you say, why have we not seen embarrassing pictures (accompanied by insulting headlines, of course) of you in the tabloids? Hmm? Hmmm? Tell me that, Mr. Monster.

    Perhaps I am confused.

  5. Callisto says:

    It just occurred to me that your bacon fetish might (and by might I mean “most certainly will”) get in the way of this new fitness program. I hate to be the one to point it out, but the writing is on the wall. Dan + bacon = pudding.

  6. Raethe says:

    Well. THAT sounds tasty.

  7. Jordan says:

    Wuss. I run three miles every day and I’m twice the size of you.

  8. Arlene says:

    Way to throw down the gauntlet there, Jordan.

  9. Jordan says:

    psh. If I was to throw down the gauntlet I’d say “I bet Rob could make that bike ride without breaking a sweat”.

  10. Arlene says:

    My church book club is reading “Serial Killer” on the sly, passing around my copy like it’s a black market item. Surprisingly, the club is mostly women and they are all loving it.

  11. Callisto says:

    That’s the best church book club idea I’ve heard in ages.

  12. Arlene says:

    The “real” book is “The Count of Monte Cristo”.

    I haven’t cracked it yet.

  13. Arlene says:

    Okay….NOW I’ve cracked it. Read the first five pages. Put it down in favor of reading this blog.

  14. Arlene says:

    Okay, to be fair, Alexandre Dumas is pretty amazing. I mean, he’s no Dan Wells, but the man’s got chops.

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