Surprise! I have a new ebook that YOU CAN BUY RIGHT NOW

Do you like screwball comedies starring famous historical figures?

Do you like both bank robberies AND grave robberies?

Do you like vampires, but kind of wish somebody would make fun of them?

Then dude: we should totally hang out.

I am extremely pleased to be announcing my newest book, available today for the ereader of your choice. There is no print version–this is an ebook exclusive, and honestly probably a little too niche-y to ever see print anyway (unless you live in Germany, where it comes out next year). After years of love and revision and polishing, I am exceedingly pleased to present:

An Extremely Silly Horror Novel

The basic premise is this: it’s 1817, and a man named Frederick Whithers is wallowing in jail for a crime he didn’t commit, desperate to get out so he can go and commit it for real. He fakes his own death and escapes in a coffin, but when he gets to the graveyard and crawls out of the coffin, somebody sees him and assumes he’s a vampire. It’s pretty much all downhill from there.

Frederick spends the rest of the book doing everything he can to steal a massive inheritance from a dead man, all the while running from constables, vampire hunters, ghouls, poets, proper young ladies, highly improper young ladies, morticians, mysterious figures, and the most pathetic collection of vampires to ever disgrace a work of fiction. The book is, as I mentioned above, Extremely Silly: imagine a horror story, as written by Monty Python, in the style of the old screwball comedies like The Producers, What’s Up Doc?, and Some Like it Hot, and then imagine that for some reason it’s also in the style of a Victorian frame story starring John Keats and presented by a fake historian. Some of you aren’t going to get it, but some of you are going to wonder where this book has been all your life.

Intrigued? Thanks to the miracle of Internet connectivity, you can download and read A NIGHT OF BLACKER DARKNESS right this very second:


This should cover just about everybody; I tend to use the Stanza app on my iPad, and the Smashwords link works great for that. If you use a different ereader, just open the catalog and do a search. It should be available pretty much everywhere.

17 Responses to “Surprise! I have a new ebook that YOU CAN BUY RIGHT NOW”

  1. James says:

    Got it! I’ve loved this book ever since it was put up in writing excuses and I gladly give you money for it (thought it may not be mine)!

  2. Justin says:

    Got Mine! Can’t wait to get home and read it.

  3. Anna-Lisa says:

    I’m from Switzerland and I read about your latest work on this blog:
    (To be honest, I didn’t know you as an author before…)

    I was really bewitched by the nice storyline – I love vampires on true graveyards (like Dracula by Mister Stoker) and I like stories that are a bit bizarre. And I love the cover. 😉

    Well, everything seems perfect now, doesn’t it? It’s going to be printed in German. Yeah! BUT: I really hate reading books in German when they were written in English originally.

    Furthermore, I’ve never purchased or downloaded an eBook in my life. (No, I’m not a hundred years old, actually I’m just 18…) I haven’t got an eBook-reader, a smartphone or anything like that. Just a computer.
    Where can I – living in Switzerland, having Swiss Francs as a currency – buy and download a version with which I am able to read on my computer, although I hate that and it’s giving me headache? Oh, it feels so stupid not to know how to handle eBooks when you are a teenager and not that bad at computers and things like that.

    Hope you can help…

    (Just wondering: Why do you print that book in Germany? I mean…it seems to be a bit random…?)

  4. Sam Loveland says:

    Woot, been looking forward to an official version of this coming out. =) Just bought it, looking forward to breaking in my Kindle with it.

  5. Zarin says:

    100 pages in and loving it! John’s dialogue is brilliant.

  6. Christoph says:

    Shame, then I will have to buy it in German – eBooks are not really that big in Germany. Still, I am glad you have a new book coming out, and one with such an intriguing storyline at that! Any detailed information on when it will hit the stores in Germany?

  7. Brooke says:

    I downloaded the sample on my Nook and I’m loving it, but I am having some problems with the formatting. For some reason the font’s stuck in courier (which in incredibly unappealing to read). Is there anything you can do about this? Or is there someone/where else I should be bringing this to?

  8. so glad i live in germany – looking forward to it =D

  9. Diva Donna says:

    I want more tags. I’m just sayin’. It was great to see you at Worldcon. Hope all goes well with the ebook sales.

  10. Andrea says:

    @Anna-Lisa: Man kriegt das ebook auch auf
    Und theoretisch sollte es irgendwelche Programme geben, mit denen man Kindle-Dateien auch auf dem Computer lesen kann.

  11. Anna-Lisa says:

    @Andrea: Es gibt auf Amazon glaube ich keinen Ort, wo man was in SFr. bezahlen kann. Und bevor ich mir noch Programme runterladen muss (#faul) kaufe ich mir dann halt die deutsche Version. >.<

  12. Ok, does this version have the vampire bunnies or not?

  13. Leigh says:

    Dude. where has this book been all my life?

    Loved it!

  14. Mike says:

    I want to buy this book, but I’d rather get it from Google Books. Is there any chance of it getting published there?

  15. daphne says:

    I really, really want this for my Kindle, but Amazon says that the page doesn’t exist. Can I not get it from Amazon anymore?

  16. admin says:

    Daphne (and everyone else who’s curious), we’ve taken down the ebook in preparation for the audiobook, which has an exclusive contract for six months (ie, for the first six months of the audiobook no other versions will be available).

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